Monday, 22 March 2010

This Light Bulb Will Self-destruct

The light bulb is often used as a metaphor for a sudden “aha!”, an epiphany, the bright light of a fantastic idea switching on in one’s brain. But, what would happen if a government decreed that process must now happen in reverse?

Something like this, I would imagine:

(The sound of footsteps on stairs...and then voices in the dark.)

Did you hear anything?


Were you in here the whole time?

Um, yeah, as far as I can remember...

Well, the light is off and the light bulb is gone.

Burned out?

No, it’s gone. I can’t find it.


Some time later, the glass portion of the fantastic paranormal light bulb is spotted on the floor, unbroken, but definitely in the wrong place, and all life-signs are negative as regards photons.

It is soon thereafter discovered that the metal end remains in the socket, fully powered.

I suppose that’s what one gets for buying black-market 60 watt light bulbs. Since the ban, apparently, the counterfeiters have been busy.

But, look on the bright side: good thing it wasn’t a legal compact fluorescent, or we might have had mercury to clean up. Even without a toxic spill, I would probably be in bed with a migraine from the wretched, flickering thing.


  1. They fall off when they get ripe.

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