Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Porridge: The Official Breakfast of Monday Machines

Porridge detractors, take heed:

According to Wikipedia, “Oat porridge has been found in the stomachs of 5,000 year old Neolithic bog bodies in Central Europe and Scandinavia.”

Anything with that sort of track record must have something going for it, and indeed, it has many virtues. Let’s see...it’s absurdly quick and easy to prepare, combines well with fruit and cinnamon, is all-natural, hot, filling, nutritious, and delicious. In other words, porridge is quite possibly a perfect food.

But, beware: if it comes in a serving-size laminated packet with microwave instructions, unpronounceable ingredients, and added sugar, it is not porridge, no—it is an evil, blasphemous, false porridge only. Resist temptation—and remember, he who eateth only from the goodness of the One True Porridge shall have everlasting gruel.

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